Good times with Tom!

Every Christmas season, ABS-CBN (apparently the company that gives a little too much benefits to its employees) hands out a Purefoods Holiday Ham to all its workers. What better benefit is there than to bring home a HAM to the dinner table and say: "I earned that!"

In Tom's enthusiasm, we have been talking about this in advance as he waits for his genuine, fat, sweet HAM package to be sitting on his desk, ready and waiting to be taken home.

Lo and behold, yesterday was the day it finally arrived and we exchange our thoughts via messenger as documented below:

barborifico: Chong! Makukuha ko na yung HAM ko!

(Bro/Dude! I'm gonna get my HAM today!)

pilato10: The best!
barborifico: HAM = destiny
pilato10: HAM = freedom
pilato10: They may take our lives, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR HAM!!!
barborifico: hahahahahaha!
barborifico: Do you know what's across that shore? HAM!!! Take it! IT'S YOURS!!!!
pilato10: hahahahhahaha!!!
pilato10: MAXIMUS: Are you not HAMMED????
barborifico: hahahahahaahaha!!!
pilato10: SHIHIRU-CHIYANA-SIHIYO-WAKANURA-HAM!!!! - The Last Samurai
barborifico: hahahahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!!
pilato10: bwaahahhahahahahahahahahah!!!!!

It's amazing what the toxic work can do to your comedy standards...

Good times, Tom!

"How do you write about women so well?" asked THE fan.
"I think of a man. Then I take out reason and accountability." said THE Melvin Udall
- Jack Nicholson, As Good as it Gets

Back after nearly a year...

What a comeback!

I'm sorry... I really just have to share this.

A good friend staying in Irvine who chose to remain anonymous had a movie-moment the other day and just had to share it with me. I, in turn, would like to share it as well. ("A" for impact.)

Typical TV commercial / Movie scene: My friend walks in the public laundry and does what people do there. He sits and waits as his clothes spin about...

Hot black girl walks in, (I'd like to emphasize: HOT) brings her laundry, puts it all in the wash, takes off her clothes, leaves her panties and a tank top on (Yes gentlemen, no bra) and sits and waits with my friend.

My friend palpitates, probably creating a hole in his sock as he scrapes his toes on the sole of his shoes during the awkward moment. He breathes and waits as his peripheral vision does him all but well. Then, he finally looks at the camera, and just smiles.

End of scene.

(Bravo to the amazing story, my friend!)

RATING: 8 out of 10

"The goddamn pen is blue!" - Fletcher Reed, Liar, Liar

A sad, sad day... (Not a review)

Wowowee Game Show 1st Year Anniversary

Today, as of February 4, 2006 8:00pm, 73 people died and over 350 were injured in the Philippines. The cause: a human stampede.

This death toll would rival that of an actual typhoon disaster or an earthquake. But early this morning at 7am where thousands of people flocked at the ULTRA stadium in Pasig City, senior citizens, women and children lay dead on the ground as hundreds more trample their bodies just to get a chance to enter the track oval (where the show was to be taped) to participate in the game show.

Stories from victims say that someone claimed there was a bomb, others simply believe that the Filipino mentality claimed the innocent lives of the poor victims. It's sad how the lack of discipline, organization and decency to actually be patient resulted in this violent rampage of unwanted death and injury. I was under the impression that only animals were involved in stampedes. I guess I was wrong.

73 people lost their lives today in the hope to win some money and prizes to make their lives a little better. How ironic. How tragic.

Once again my country hits the international headlines. I truly wait for the day when I can actually be proud that this happens.

RATING: (none)

"Give a mouse a cookie, and its gonna want a glass of milk." -Anonymous

Fight Review: HA!!!

The Battle: Morales vs. Pacquiao 2

Las Vegas
January 21, 2006

"Pacquiao cannot win. It's impossible." says Morales camp to Philippine Daily Inquirer

"He's around a 5 out of 10. He can hit hard, but anyone can take those hits." says Erik Morales, after being asked how Manny Pacquiao is as a fighter.

Downed twice at round 10 for the win

"Well kiss my Filipino ass."

RATING: 10 out of 10

"Hoo-ah!" -Lt. Col. Frank Slade (Al Pacino), The Scent of a Woman

Film Review: The Lion, the Witch, and the CLOSET

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005)

Starring:

Tilda Swilton as Jadis, the White Witch
Liam Neeson as the voice of Aslan (1993 Best Actor Nominee in Schindler's List)
Georgie Henley as Lucy Pevensie
Skandar Kaynes as Edmund Pevensie
William Mosley as Peter Pevensie
Anna Popplewell as Susan Pevensie

Directed by:

Andrew Adamson

If they call their closets wardrobes, then what do they call their wardrobes? Hmm...

The film started off in a completely different mood for one who expects all the fantasy and fiction to immediately burst out. The children are sent off to the country side due to the war and live in a huge, vintage (well, maybe not at that time) mansion occupied by a mysterious professor and a typical grouchy housekeeper. I haven't read the books, so I don't know if this is accurate. But, nonetheless, I'm inclined to believe it was a good move to create a foundation of logic rather then start with the fireworks.

Then, that magic begins. The four children find themselves stumbling into a huge CLOSET and another world, beautiful with glistening snow from toe to horizon and mysterious as the tall, suspicious trees that initially surround them.

As they search this new world for inhabitants, they are struck with disbelief when they meet mythological creatures (satyrs, dwarves, centaurs, and more ) and talking animals from mice to lions. (or in this case, lion minus the "s") I find the touch of casting famous british actors to do the animals' voices quite fascinating as it fit the characters' personalities perfectly; from the sly Rupert Everett as the fox to the intimidating Liam Neeson as Aslan the lion king.

From there, the adventure begins and takes our four heroes and heroines with the audience to different depths of suspense, drama and action. Viewers will actually feel like siding with the heroic lion and despise the wicked witch. (Hands down to Swilton for a fantastic job. You are now somwhere in the line of the women I fear close to my Lola and *Sadako.)

*Sadako is Samari's equivalent in the Japanese (and original) version of The Ring that changed the way I look at Asian women forever and ever until the end of time. I still shudder at the mere mention of that freaky bitch...

From the time the movie was introduced to its rattling trailers until its credits, viewers will get everything they expected: the epic battles, the waves of spell and magic and, most importantly, the introducing of the land that is Narnia, which I believe is the core purpose of the film. The point of the film, besides its fantastic storyline, is to tell the viewers that, if they believe enough, there is a Narnia and this is all the glory you'll get once you find it.

To children, this would have been orgasmic (as inappropriate as this sounds) because of the effects, creatures and imagination. To adults, and I believe I speak for quite a few, this brought back the feeling of being like a child again; to be put in a world where the adult mind scoffs but the young mind sighs and gasps. And that, no matter how often it happens through other films, books and even video games, is still worth the feeling.

I invite everyone to Narnia and take the adventure of a lifetime, even for only 3 hours of your life. You won't regret it.

RATING: 8 out of 10

"CR mo and mundo!*" Alkohol, Ely Buendia of the Eraserheads

*roughly translates to "The world is your toilet"

Book Review: To believe or not to believe...

The Da Vinci Code

Written by:
Dan Brown

After reading this novel twice, once when it came out just to see what the fuss was all about and the other to imagine the cinematography of the upcoming movie (one of my proud habits), I realized that Dan Brown is a modern-day Houdini (if Houdini wrote that is), not in terms of escaping near-death experiences, but in terms of creating a very good illusion for his audience.

First and foremost, let's get one thing straight: This novel is fictional. It is fiction based on facts, no more, no less. With that absolutely and perfectly clear, let's move on.

Dan Brown's style of deception is quite fascinating, I'll say. If you pay attention to his method of narrating, you'll immediately detect his cunning tactic of making people believe that his story is true. This pattern is consistent all through the book: He mentions something fictional, he then surrounds it with facts, then viola!, the fiction becomes fact. Here's an example:

He mentions the location of a precious keystone that an ancient brotherhood is hiding. After doing so, he surrounds this location with historical facts(mind you, some of it is also made up): how the place was built, when it was built, who built it, which monarch funded its construction, which significant historical figure graced the construction and so on and so forth. Or let's say he mentions a significant painting and points out symbols that mean something. He then surrounds these symbols with more history and meanings and the pages go on. SO, instead of focusing on the fiction, the reader gets so enticed with learning the truth and facts, he is then fooled into believing that the foundation is actually true. Surrounding fiction with facts. Brilliant!

So that would pretty much untangle any confusion brought about by this intriguing novel: It's a story, no more no less. Opus Dei is not the new cult of Jesus, Mary Magdalene's involvement is still questionable to this day, and, yes, albinos bleed too. I hope that is, as Tom Cruise said, crystal clear.

But this doesn't take the thrill out of this amazing novel. Dan Brown constructs an adventure surrounded with excitement, drama, secrecy, and betrayal. His short-chapter-what's-gonna-happen-next method of writing makes the reader not want to put the book down. You can actually breeze through the book in a day without getting bored or tired.

I would recommend reading the book before the movie comes out. I believe the movie was constructed under the assumption that majority of its audience have read the novel, much like the Harry Potter series. In any case, you really have nothing to lose. The book, in my opinion, is completely worth it.

In the end, you ask yourself, if this is possible, then what other secrets could the world still be keeping?

RATING: 8 out of 10

"Too many secrets..." The Riddler, Batman Forever